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Funny Quotes 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the.
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Sarcastic Quotes. 1. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.". - Steven Wright. 2. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.". 3. "I am not young enough to know everything.".
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Funny inspirational work quotes RD.com, Getty Images 1. "When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it." —Theodore Roosevelt 2..
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"Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward." ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets tags: draco-malfoy , stupidity 3222 likes Like "Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." ― Euripides, The Bacchae tags: foolishness , rationality , reason , sense , stupidity , understanding 3206 likes Like
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"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself." Reba McEntire "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone." Isaac Asimov "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." Abraham Lincoln "No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar."
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Peter: "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob." —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space. "I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.". — Clarence Darrow. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.". — Oscar Wilde.
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2. "No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early." — Groucho Marx. 3. "Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished." — Leslie Nielsen. 4. "It takes.
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101 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. By Alesandra Dubin and Corinne Sullivan Updated:.
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Best overall funny quotes "Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired." — Sandra Bullock "Keep calm and carry a wand." — A.W. Jantha, "Hocus Pocus & The All New.
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Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." —Thomas Eddison. 2. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." —Donald Trump. 3.
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Stupid Quotes - BrainyQuote Love is being stupid together. Paul Valery It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. Thomas Sowell It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.
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1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life .".
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Quell the inner critic and just keep doing. "So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track." —Ed Helms. This was the advice actor (and star of television's The Office ), comedian, singer, and musician, Ed Helms, gave to the 2013 graduating class of Knox College.
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Here are some of the most hilarious stupid quotes that will have you laughing out loud. Don't forget to share them with your friends! Page Contents Stupid quotes 1.) "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." 2.) "Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see."
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1. "My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." —Socrates 2. "If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday,.